less than perfect...

The last few months have been hard on me.  Not unbearably so, but wearyingly so.  I know that we chose to take the risks that got us into this situation, but that still doesn't mean it's been fun--living in a tiny, cramped apartment above a crass, angry woman; waddling uncomfortably up a flight of steps with Jane on my hip; having most of my personal belongings inaccessible; missing the comforts of a real home with a garage and a yard.  This situation has definitely been less than perfect.  At the same time, however, I can't say I'm not extremely grateful for where we are.  We have our own place with two bedrooms, super cheap rent, and we are all healthy and well and waiting for our baby boy.  Besides, the fact that we have decided to be here is hopefully going to allow us in the long run to end up in a better place than we were in before we made our lives crazy.

And recently, I've found something that really helps me feel less weary--crafting.  I've been creating all sorts of little crafty items that have taken my mind off the things that aren't quite the way I'd hoped.  I've become one of those moms who spends nap-times searching the internet for unique ideas and crafts.

In my searches, I often see things that I would love to make but don't have the skills for.  Then I realize some of the people sharing their finished products didn't either.  I have been, I'll admit, slightly critical of others' "less-than-perfect" results.  "How embarrassing," I'd find myself thinking, "that she thinks this is good enough to share with the world."

Well, living in our less-than-perfect situation, it is only fitting to be sharing my less-than-perfect projects.  And I do it proudly.  I am sharing these things because they make me feel happy, not because they're impressive.  If you look closely, there are a lot of mistakes, but I still want to remember these projects that have made my less-than-perfect life so much more enjoyable these past months.  They've been the little something I could look forward to each day, especially as they are things that I have had control over during a time when so many things are out of our hands.  Besides, they keep me thinking of the little boy soon to join our family as they are for the nursery I'm planning for him.

animal collages

mobile

crib quilt

crib skirt

baby blocks

pillow

(Ok, as a side note, since people are commenting on how things don't look flawed:  I unpicked at least 50% of what I did on the quilt and in the end the squares didn't all match up, the zig-zags on the pillow are spaced unevenly even though I measured the distance between with a ruler then pinned them, the crib skirt somehow ended up not quite squared at the corners, and if you saw how many times I scratched and scraped the Mod-Podge off to tear off some wayward, wrinkly part of the collages, it would make you crazy!)

things that start with "b"...

Whenever I think of my growing stomach, I find myself searching out words to describe it that begin with "b".  I string them together to make phrases such as, "Big Boy Baby Belly" or "Bulging Beach Ball Bump". It's kind of like a little OCD thing I do.  But I can't help myself, my belly is just so big!  And I don't think it's just me that feels this way.  As proof, let me first share a recent conversation I had with a friend, and then a couple of photos:

conversation:
Person-Who-Will-Remain-Unnamed:  "Are you having twins?"
Very-Pregnant-Me:  "No."
PWWRU:  "Are you sure?"
VPM:  (annoyed) "Yes."
PWWRU:  "How do you know?"
VPM:  "I've had an ultrasound."
PWWRU:  "But could one of the twins have been hiding behind the other and they didn't see it?"
VPM:  (very annoyed) "No, I've had two ultrasounds."
PWWRU:  "Oh, okay.  If you say so."

Today was my first time swimming this pregnancy.  As I stretched and tugged my non-maternity swimsuit over my gigantic belly, I couldn't help but laugh at the image in the mirror .  I decided to snap these photos so that I could one day look back and remember that I looked like this.  I hope you laugh, too.  Because despite my annoyance with the comments I've been getting lately, I'm kind of fascinated with the enormity of my stomach.  I feel some sort of pride/incredulity when I see myself in the mirror.  It's kind of awesome, in a strange, uncomfortable, can't-move-very-fast way.

Can we get a close up of that?  Yes, please!

I especially like how the circles near the back of my swim suit change to ovals on my belly.

side note:  If you think I was being kind by keeping the name of the person in the above conversation private, you were wrong.  I would very much like to call that person out for their rudeness, but truth is, with my body sending all the good blood to my monstrous belly, I can't remember who it was!!!  Otherwise, I'd definitely be naming names.

to my mom...

10 things I love about my mom:

1.  She is generous.
You know the saying about how someone would give you the shirt off their back?  Well, with my mom, this is literally true.  I can't count how many times I've complemented her on a new shirt (or skirt, or whatever) and she immediately offers it to me.  She is one of the most generous people I know.  Come to think of it, she probably is the most generous person I know.

2.  She has a great sense of humor.
When I think of my mom's humor I think of her dancing in the kitchen in front of my friends or giggling so hard in church, her whole body shakes.  She is always up for a good laugh.

3.  She is down-to-earth.
Nobody could say that my mom is pretentious or worldly.  She doesn't like to appear to be something that she isn't.  She doesn't try to keep up with anyone, and this has been such an important lesson to all of her children.

4.  She is thoughtful.
My mom constantly does little things that show she is thinking of others.  For example:  No matter how thorough I try to be with my packing up, whenever I leave Utah, I inevitably leave something behind.  My mom eventually finds the left-behind item and lets me know it will be in the mail.  It always takes a few days, though, because my mom then has to find other items to include in the package--a little book, some Utah Truffles, a pressed flower bookmark, etc.--to make me smile.  

5.  She is a good listener.
When life gets frustrating, my mom is usually the first person I call to look for sympathy and support.  She is always willing to make time for me when I need her even though I'm usually just rambling on and on about my silly woes.  And even though they are silly, she sympathizes with me anyway. 

6.  She builds me up.
My mom has always done a great job at making me feel good about myself.  I've known other girls whose mothers belittle them or point out their flaws.   I grew up being told that I was beautiful and smart and funny and I believed it.  And on those occasions when the world got to me and I started to doubt my worth, my mom could always be counted on for a self-esteem boost to make me feel better.

7.  She lives what she believes.
My mom has always been someone who lived the life she believed she should, governed by gospel principles.  She prays, reads her scriptures, and is a Christlike person.  When I think of her example, I want to be a better person.

8.  She is a doer.
This is the opposite of a shirker--you know, the person that tries to get out of doing things that take effort?  That's not her.  She's always willing to make sacrifices to help others, whether it's picking you up from the airport or making your friends breakfast, she likes to be doing things for others.

9.  She appreciates beauty.
My mom is always noticing the world around her and pointing out the beautiful things she sees.  She is one who will pause to study the changing leaves in autumn or a sprig of wildflowers in the mountains.  I love this trait.  It adds an element of peace and calm to an otherwise chaotic world.

10.  She is my mother.
What else can I say?  She carried me for nine months, gave birth to me, changed my diapers, fed me, taught me to walk and talk, took care of my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, and always let me know she loved me.

Thank you, Mom.  Happy Mothers' Day!

I love you!

(ps: Mom, I asked Caleb for help with the list and the first thing he came up with was

that you look like "famous people that are on Fox News"!)

things to remember...

This Miss Jane is full of personality!  There are several little "Jane-isms" that I want to remember.

First of all, she is very efficient.  She uses one word for multiple things.  A few examples:
mom-mom = "mama" and "bum-bum"
moohn = "moon" and "balloon"
psshbshpspps (really just a lot of "s" sounds whispered) = "grapes", "Zeebies", and "chips"
wah-wah = "water" and "rabbit" (easy to distinguish these two because she touches the tip of her nose for "rabbit")
mo = "more" or "mole" (which most people wouldn't think is a necessary word for a toddler, but most people aren't Wilsons!)
bobba = "bottle" or "bubble"

Another funny Jane thing is when she is trying out a new word, she will only whisper it for the first few days until she feels comfortable enough to add it into her regular voice vocabulary.  And when you correctly interpret her baby language, to let you know you got it right, she clicks her tongue and bobs her head from side to side.  Just today, I had just gotten dressed for the day and was brushing my wet hair, and she realized what was next.  She whispered, "maaay-huh".  I had never heard this word, so I asked her to say it again, which she did.  When I realized she was probably saying "make-up", I said, "You want me to get the make-up?" to which she responded with a couple of clicks with her tongue and an enthusiastic bob of the head.  It is so funny and cute.  It's also so nice to be able to communicate with her.

On the other hand, if you get it WRONG...well, she responds by throwing a fit!  Not so funny.  And not so cute.

She is finally understanding the power of the magic word.  When she does the sign and says, "peese" it is hard to deny her whatever she asks for.  Daddy especially can't say no.  We'll have to work on that...

Another unique thing is the way she says the "k" sound at the end of a word.  She makes it into a "chi" kind of sound.  Two words that she says this way are "book" and "walk" (bood-chi and waht-chi).

She also barks in her sleep.  Yes, barks!  It has only happened a few times that we know of, but it is adorable!

Jane recently learned what "owies" are.  She loves to find owies on Mommy, Daddy, and herself.  And each time I show her one, she touches the fingertips of each hand together and says, "mo" hoping I can somehow manage to find yet another scratch or scar for her viewing pleasure.

To finish off, some recent pictures of Jane throughout her daily activities (which include climbing anything and everything, doing laundry, reading books, taking care of the trash, changing her own diaper, getting ready for the day, helping Mom keep things tidy, and just being entertaining in general.)

my three janes...

Jane and I have a little tradition.  Each morning while I get ready, she stands on the toilet while I put my makeup on.  As soon as I put my makeup bag in front of her she says, "Ow," and then fishes though the bag looking for the sharp tweezers, which she hands over, and I put aside so she won't get hurt.  Then she takes the items out one by one and pretends to put them on herself and then carefully puts them back.  I love watching her as she imitates what she sees me do.  

I also love it because I get a triple view of this little doll thanks to the angled mirror on the medicine cabinet.  I often find myself pausing just to stare at her from each angle and am in awe at how beautiful she is.  I love her dark chocolate eyes and her little apple cheeks.  I love her silky hair and her cute little nose.  I even love the back of her head with her sweet delicate neck.  What a beautiful girl for a Momma to have!